Listening To: "I Miss You" - Blink 182
Ah today almost topped yesterday with the boredom, but the more i think that im bored, the more i realize im really not cuz most of the time im thinking about life or just stuff in general.. and i honestly havent just sat and thought about stuff in awhile, this week has been a first.. a nice time to reflect.
Im slowly becomming the nicole i used to be.. so fucking slowly actually.. but theres still that piece of me that hurts so bad that makes me want to cry sometimes.. so i paint a nice smile on my face so that no one will know that im still bruised and broken on the inside.. its like i dont really have anyone to talk to about this either, because theres nothing new to say, and i dont want to keep saying the same things over and over again..its like no one cares at all.. i know theres like 1 maybe 2 people who care, but 1 of those 2 i cant even bring myself to do it.. i dunno, its just like im keeping something inside of me, something that i dont even understand.. something that i need to say.. but i guess i havent found the right words yet.. its like theres some parts during the day where i think im getting closer to my happyness and others where i feel that im going backwards.. and then theres always the im going nowhere.. i really try to look for the positive sides of all of this, but in all seriousness is there any good in this? if there are ive yet to find any. and stupid valentines day is coming up, in less then a week.. that day is really going to suck, i was looking forward to it to i remember bruce talking to me about it and about how i was gunna get flowers in school like all the other girls and everything.. and i dunno i guess i was looking forward to it, its a day to celebrate the most amazing emotion in the world and now its like im gunna spend that day alone, sad.. probably upset.. but whatever. ive just given up with everything, because everything good that happens always goes away no matter how hard you try to keep it.. nothing good ever lasts.. i swear thats the truest thing ive ever heard. i just miss how my life used to be, and i dont think i can have that.. i just wish i didnt care anymore, but every day i seem to care more and more :/ i miss you.
Im gunna go finish my english homework how fucking joyous. i hate that stupid book.. oh well..
Im gunna go finish my english homework how fucking joyous. i hate that stupid book.. oh well..
<33 nicoLe
So I said my secret...
Hear you crying
Sorry Jenny...
I wish I lying
There is nothing here for me to say...
To keep you from dying
You get these visions in your head
Of me and someone else, in my bed
But the truth of the matter is, I only see you
So keep your distance
I'll only tell you that I miss this
There is no one that can take your place
[boy] I really mean it
There is no one that can take your place
And as I lie here all alone
I want to be in your arms so badly
And yeah, you know I'm done
And forever in love with you
As I lie here all alone
I want to be in your arms so badly
And yeah, you know I'm done
And forever in love with you
I didn't want to pull the trigger
And as my secret left my finger
Cut loose and I really wish I had an excuse
Cuz you and I know it's all about time now
My eyes have never been dry
And this mistake I know is hard to take
But the truth is the only thing that I can save
And as I lie here all alone
I want to be in your arms so badly
And yeah, you know I'm done
And forever in love with you
As I lie here all alone
I want to be in your arms so badly
And yeah, you know I'm done
And forever in love with you
You said I hurt you...
May be true
But it's the last thing...
I wanted to do to you
Can't you see what it's doing to me
As I lie here all alone
I want to be in your arms so badly
Cuz I'm forever in love with you.
As I lie here all alone
I want to be in your arms so badly
And yeah, you know I'm done
And forever in love with you
As I lie here all alone
(I can't take, I can't take it with you)
I want to be in your arms so badly
(I can't take, I can't take it with you)
And yeah, you know I'm done
(I can't take, I can't take it with you)
And forever in love with you
I'm forever in love with you
i [miss] y o u
Hear you crying
Sorry Jenny...
I wish I lying
There is nothing here for me to say...
To keep you from dying
You get these visions in your head
Of me and someone else, in my bed
But the truth of the matter is, I only see you
So keep your distance
I'll only tell you that I miss this
There is no one that can take your place
[boy] I really mean it
There is no one that can take your place
And as I lie here all alone
I want to be in your arms so badly
And yeah, you know I'm done
And forever in love with you
As I lie here all alone
I want to be in your arms so badly
And yeah, you know I'm done
And forever in love with you
I didn't want to pull the trigger
And as my secret left my finger
Cut loose and I really wish I had an excuse
Cuz you and I know it's all about time now
My eyes have never been dry
And this mistake I know is hard to take
But the truth is the only thing that I can save
And as I lie here all alone
I want to be in your arms so badly
And yeah, you know I'm done
And forever in love with you
As I lie here all alone
I want to be in your arms so badly
And yeah, you know I'm done
And forever in love with you
You said I hurt you...
May be true
But it's the last thing...
I wanted to do to you
Can't you see what it's doing to me
As I lie here all alone
I want to be in your arms so badly
Cuz I'm forever in love with you.
As I lie here all alone
I want to be in your arms so badly
And yeah, you know I'm done
And forever in love with you
As I lie here all alone
(I can't take, I can't take it with you)
I want to be in your arms so badly
(I can't take, I can't take it with you)
And yeah, you know I'm done
(I can't take, I can't take it with you)
And forever in love with you
I'm forever in love with you
i [miss] y o u